2015-05-24

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1528 - Vodka

Or whatever's handy! I'm pretty much pure alcohol and water, so it doesn't really matter!

So, a week or so ago I was talking with my Italian friend, and she was steppin' to my groove like "in Italy we have real food, not this... fake crap" (read that like "een eetally wee hav re-el food, note this... fake crop"). We went back and forth for a bit, and she was all "We invented bread!", to which I of course replied: "No you didn't, the Egyptians did.". And she came back with "Well, we invented pizza.".
And I leaned back and said "Okay, but you know what the best type of pizza is?" and I waited for a second before jumping up and answering my own question: "Hawaiian, bitch!" and fistbumping one of my non-pastaland friends.

Also yesterday I was shaving my arm and I cut open my elbow pretty badly. #AboutMe

These comics that could just be tweets irritate me on in a certain way that most other XKCD comics don't. With art as minimalist as this, there's always going to be some amount of "Well I could have done that.", but I really, truly, honestly, without a doubt, believe that had this comic not been made, I would have eventually made this joke on my twitter or during a party or whatever. Except I'd have used "привет" instead of "Hi!", to make sure I insulted the Russians a bit.

I'd also like to mention that yes, at least it's not text-only, but the art adds nothing to the joke, and comics being an inherently visual medium, it should. It's like if a movie was made so that you only needed to listen to the audio, watching it would suck.
That's not a perfect metaphor but it should get the point across.


In conclusion, here's some jokes I made:

Arg, that matey always drives me nuts. I shouldn't have fitted me acorns with engines. Yar.

This guy told me I'd bought fool's gold. I told him not to insult my favorite gold merchant.

"This isn't really my cup of tea." I say to the waiter. "Oh, I'm sorry, which tea did you order?" he replies.

"Boy, that bloke isn't really the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an l on her forehead well the years start coming and they don't stop coming fed to the wolves now i hit the ground running didn't make sense not to live for fun your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb hey now

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