XKCD Isn't Funny - #1772 - Startup Opportunity & #1773 - Negativity

I think I've finally figured out what Beret is supposed to represent. Y'know how Randy likes to play up his quirkiness sometimes? Beret is that 'quirky' archetype taken to its (il)logical extreme. See, he's not just hipster, getting his clothing from vintage shops. He's off the chart on the quirky hipster side of the hipster-normie scale, to the point where even his groceries are from shops that you haven't heard of... because they don't exist anymore.

And that's fine, that's a good joke, except we as readers have to make that connection ourselves. We don't see a standard issue hipster buying an out of print 7" who then gets one-up'd by Beret buying a custom space microphone. We're just thrown in to the deep end and we have to invent our own narrative. And that's cool in a David Lynch movie, when the goal is to make an unsettling and confusing experience that you can interpret yourself. It's less cool in a comedy thing, since it's forcing the reader to basically write their own joke with the pieces Randy gives us.

In his review of Final Fantasy XIII, Yahtzee said that "the kookiness of the prerequisite kooky character has now reached some kind of singularity. Her actions don't seem to have any connection to sentient thought or social context.". That's the other problem with Beret. He's so far off the scale that he just seems like he's on drugs or something. We can't relate to him, even through his unrelatability.

Like, with Michael Scott, most people wouldn't do the things that he does throughout The Office (US), but we can see his logic a lot of the time. He doesn't want people to think prison is cool, so he creates 'Prison Mike'. That's dumb, but there's a logical step from point A to point B. With Beret, it just seems like he doesn't understand anything around him. That's not funny, that's just kinda sad.

All that said, this comic works (to an extent) because the punchline is based around people reacting to Beret. Beret is the setup, and the reactions are the punchline. Also it makes fun of corporate types and I love me some anti-capitalist propaganda.

At first I thought this was a remake of that 'Balloon Internet' comic, but apparently this whole time that comic has been a reference to a Google thing. Who knew?

It's kinda lazy to only draw clouds for one panel. I understand that text is almost always the top layer in comics, but we don't even see the tiny clouds lined up with his head. Adding clouds to the other panels would even make the joke more impactful, since it's based on the contrast between internet negativity and nature peacefulness.

The joke is good, though. It has that surrealistic dream-like logic that Randy can make work really well sometimes. Like, you could have a guy pop his head out from under a rock, but why not have the grass itself insult the guy? It works because the grass is retroactively made into the premise of the comic. It still comes out of left field, but since that left field -ness is being played for laughs and not plot, I am fine with it.

And I'm aware it's probably not, but let's all just pretend that the "you suck" phrasing is in reference to the original xkcdsucks blog.

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1664 - Stargazing & #1665 - Toasts

I know it's a long shot, but does anyone happen to know who made that one song that goes like "and if I pretend to like Coldplay, she might let me see her naked, but probably not"? I downloaded it off of bandcamp ages ago but then I deleted it like a FOOL, I TELL YOU, A FOOL.

I've said it before, but I just don't get what Randy's going for with these 'what if someone was really bad at something' comics. Like it could be funny if they had to pretend to be an expert on something they weren't to save face, in a kind of 90's sitcom way. Or she could be bad at it in a way that obstructs another character from getting something, like there's a time bomb but the librarian has to check for ID and since they don't have any she makes them all pose for the picture and get IDs printed. Instead this person is just bad for no reason and with no consequence. The person isn't even being satirical or anything.

The bit about "can't happen soon enough" is kinda clever though, I like that part. I wish we got to hear the explanation though.

This is the kind of thing where I understand why he thought it would be funny. I can totally imagine having a great time if I was at a party and someone quoted the quote (is that something people do at parties?) and everyone started making snowclones of it. Like the other day I was hanging out with the fam and a bunch of us were cracking each other up by making food puns on classic literature since my cousin wants to open a book-themed restaurant. 

Maybe the joke would have worked if that was the type of situation being portrayed, everyone having a good time at a dinner or whatever. This presentation just feels soulless. Everyone's in their own box, we don't see who they're toasting to.

Beret's appearance makes me think that the joke could have worked if the first and last panels were the first two panels of a slightly different joke. Like, Beret's thing is that he's weird, right? Maybe he hears the original toast and doesn't understand why it works so he tries making his own version and it ends up not making sense. It could be funny for the same reason that it's funny to hear someone telling a joke really badly. 

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1617 - Time Capsule

I just don't get these types of comics where Beret shows up and is wacky. It's like Randy's trying to be absurd but he's either trying too hard or not hard enough.

It kinda seems in this Beret-is-wacky comics, Randy just drops him into a random location and has him say incorrect statements. It's really easy and doesn't seem to have a point, like the comics could start and end at any point and we'd pretty much get the same effect, like a random selection from a bad Ricardo Villalobos song.

The best part of this comic is when Beret isn't just wacky: the whispered "Do you still have sandwiches?". I'm very much projecting emotion onto him and it is still bad writing, but it's funny to me to imagine his wonder and horror at the thought that sandwiches no longer exist. Everyone who knew him is long dead, but he's completely caught up on those sandwiches. In that moment, it almost approaches something that could be compared to being akin to Seinfeldian.

Also, that first panel is putting in a suprise last minute entry for "worst exposition in a 2015 XKCD comic". Reminds me of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Speaking of, would you guys enjoy a top 10 / bottom 10 comics year-end list?

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1591-1609 - EPIC CATCHUP REVIEW OF SADNESS

I probably should have just done this directly after the hiatus. It'd have definitely been better than being behind for two months, but at least I'll be able to get back into the swing of things in time for December and the two year anniversary. For now I'll be channeling my inner Rob Mason (for there is a Rob Mason in all of us, right next to the Slim Shady) and giving you some shorter reviews that may or may not be fleshed out in future.

#1591 - Belle's Theorem
It's executed well, and I appreciate that I don't actually have to know what Belle's Theorem is to understand the joke, but the joke is just a preachy thing about how people don't understand science. D+

#1592 - Overthinking
It has footnotes. Might as well be Mallard Fillmore. F

#1593 - Play-By-Play
This reads like every pretentious 'I'm too smart to watch sports' comment I've ever seen, with a hint of the played-out 'common words' joke thrown in. Really boring art too; we should see at least a popup thing of the diamond. D-

#1594 - Human Subjects
Okay but why are her subjects awful? Are they criminals? Mentally disturbed? Republicans? (yuk-yuk) That context could add so much to this joke. We don't even get to see them do any of the things. C-

#1595 - 30 Days Hath September
I assume this is supposed to be a relatable joke but I don't have this problem since I'm a smart cookie. That wouldn't be an issue except no joke is made about the problem other than that it exists. F

#1596 - Launch Status Check
Why doesn't anyone ever oppose these things? There should be at least one guy getting progressively more and more frustrated at all the unprofessionalism. There should at least be some acknowledgement that this is immature. There are tumblr posts kinda like this that go like "me as a doctor: woah dude youve got like tons of bad stuff in you" or something like that. And they're kinda bland and interchangeable but they pretty much work because the structure of the joke makes it clear that the joke is their own immaturity or incompetence rather than just 'what if everyone was stupid'. D+

#1597 - Git
Would have been better if the third line just ended at "No idea." but then it would have been CouldBeATweet so hmmmmm. Nice use of that context that #1594 was missing and it's pretty much understandable even though I'm not Programming Guy so C+

#1598 - Salvage
Wow! Nice job on this one, excellent non-verbal exposition, pretty good art, and the punchline hits you all at once at the end. This is my favorite kind of XKCD. A+

#1599 - Water Delivery
Boooo on the reused building and water bottle art and kinda ugly colors but yayyy on most of the rest. It gives topical background and illustrates the idea well. Unfortunately, it does have that 'feels like a presentation' thing going on, similarly to #1400, where the idea is presented in the manner that's easiest to understand instead of the way that brings out the humor the most. The captions should have been the first and last panels and the comic should have been the middle panel. B

#1600 - MarketWatch
So they noticed it happening... but also they were doing it intentionally and didn't want to break the pattern? Huh? Why is this event occurring? I have so many questions. Also the newscaster's hairline clips through the side of her head. F+

#1601 - Isolation
First reaction: 'this is just #1227 but visual and not quotes. After getting to the punchline: "oh. that's okay then". Full credit where credit's due, my expectations were successfully subverted. Nice double meaning in the title, too. B+

#1602 - Linguistics Club
It's CouldBeATweet, but it'd be a funny tweet. It's got that rhythm that one liners are supposed to have, and that little line between the two halves helps bring that out, improving on what the text-only version would have. C+

#1603 - Flashlights
I really like how the person says "I guess?" because that's totally the reaction of everyone in the audience. Lighting a forest on fire seems more Black Hat than some random dude, though, who is he to burn down all our precious oxygen-generators? Anyway pretty lame punchline, we should see the burning forest, D+

#1604 - Snakes
Why did it have to be snakes? Haha, I'm being silly, I'm not actually Indiana Jones, I'm Greg Greenwell (for now)! It's a nerd joke, but it's a nerd joke most people will get, I think. It's CouldBeATweet though, which is of course unforgivable. Also it's weird that he'd color the snake considering how hard it is to see. C

#1605 - DNA
It's a White Hat comic. It strammans and simplifies the opposition so that Randy's OC can win. Nothing is new. F-

#1606 - Five-Day Forecast
Well. That's dark. I'm kinda sad now. Also that is some reused art assets. D

#1607 - Supreme Court
thewecomicsreview likes it! It'd have been funnier to see the supreme justice saying it from his podium thing though. C+

#1608 - Hoverboard
It kinda feels inevitable that XKCD would do a flash game comic, and honestly good for it, even if it is a blatant gimmick. The controls are pretty decent (although not as good as the controls for Cubified, the free flash game available through desura, that I did the soundtrack to) and it was a good choice to have an infinite jumping mechanic. It's also pretty neat that it lets you discover the true expanse of the game on your own.

It is, however, pretty lame that parts of the scenery are non-solid while looking exactly like the solid scenery, making some navigation a trial-and-error process. The bigger spaceship thing has too many interlocking corridors, meaning that it becomes confusing without a built-in area map. And that island in the sky with no indication that it's there but it has two coins? Dick move, Randy, how was someone supposed to discover that? Lern 2 level design.

but if you want to add a soundtrack, Randy, seriously, hit me up. Not even joking on this, I'll do it for pennies.

#1609 - Food Combinations
LIES, Randy, LIES. I've told people many times that red Doritos taste good with milk and/or dipped in chocolate pudding, and not a single person has ever even entertained the possibility that I am right (even though I am, as always). And likewise, no one could ever convince me to try ice cream with eggs. D-


So I know this isn't my usual thing, but if you don't like it, just remember that A) it's not going to be a regular thing, stick around for a typical review tomorrow, and B) the first comment on Rob's post about me existing was that my reviews are too long and this is my appeasement of them.

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1583 - NASA Press Conference

Is this based off of that one time Thom Yorke became a reporter?

More to the point, does anyone have recommendations for good alarm apps for the iphone? Preferably ones that would go off even if the idiot who owns the phone set it to silent.

This is one of the most inconsistent XKCDs ever, from an art standpoint. The first panel has a fairly faithful replication of the NASA logo (kudos to Randy for the non-dialogue exposition), but then we get a bunch of lazy lumpy half-ovals for panel two, and panel three doesn't even have that. Then we have a full crowd for panel four, but also the speaker's stadium is apparently floating in midair.

I'll admit I've never bothered to look into how Randy makes his comics, but it is just something digital, right? He's not painting these on fifty-foot canvases with ink made from pandas. I imagine he has the time and ability to correct his mistakes. I know that people have their own things going on and I'd understand if he couldn't make a better version because he got shot or whatever, but without any indication of such I don't get why he doesn't try harder to make things look good.

So, Beret goes to a NASA conference and asks stupid questions, I can get behind that. Similar things have been done well before. The idea of Mars being ruined because it's gotten wet is actually a pretty good one. Unfortunately, it's poorly phrased: "water on Mars" won't translate to "Mars is wet" in the minds of most people. "Is it ruined?" comes off as a non-sequitur. The "when it dries out" line makes it a little clearer, but still not as much as it should be.

Beret's question in the fourth panel is also really incongruous with his previous questions. The first two are nonsensical but related to the idea of water on Mars, while the last is neither. It's like it was written for another reporter but Randy remembered that Beret was the one with the mic.

Was the Cantina scene really that confusing? They're picking the fight with him to A) show how tough they are and to try and rob the rich upper class white kid and B) to give the filmmakers a chance to show how badass Obi-Wan is and how Luke don't know nothin'. My friend Lightning adds "stahwaurz reffernce" and continues "once again it's that seth macfarlane type humor where it's 'hahah I recognize that so it's funny'".

In conclusion, I couldn't think of anything concrete to say about the writing in the second panel, and Beret's head still looks like an acorn.

XKCD Is Funny - #1533 - Antique Factory

Yo, what's up with the weird cropping on this comic? Look, the outside borders are noticeably clipped compared to the between-panel borders.

That being said, I actually think this is hilarious, like this actually got a laugh out of me. I don't think that's ever happened with a Beret comic before. The setup is to-the-point, the punchline isn't over-labored, and the art adds naturally to the joke.

I really like how Beret isn't over-the-top at all. He's actually downright understated! He's not supernaturally evil for no reason, he's not 'random', he's just going to his bizarre job the way a normal person would go to their job at JobCo.

The comic even leaves out that that "XKCD speak" I've complained about before, where everything reads like a Wikipedia article. I do think that the setup is probably a little too to-the-point, though. Beret just saying "antique factory" the way someone would say "Starbucks" just doesn't gel right with me. "antique factory" isn't the name of a store, there should totally be an "An" at the front of that.

I'm sure someone's pointed this out before me, but I just noticed that Beret's hat makes his head look like an acorn.

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1522 - Astronomy

I wondered why the number "1522" seemed especially familiar for about a minute before realizing that's the channel I record reruns of The Simpsons from.

Y'know, that's actually a nice night sky, even if it is reused from panel to panel. If I was still an XKCD fan, I could totally see myself using this as a desktop wallpaper or something. However, art points are also deducted for that weird integration of 2D and 3D in one panel that we've seen previously in #1441. The ladder even starts off as flat before gaining depth in panel three, a la the perspective in #940.

My thoughts on this comic include a succession of "at least it's not..."s. At least it's not #811, where most people couldn't even tell what the joke was supposed to be. At least it's not another "Beret is powerful, possibly evil" comic. It's still not well-executed though. We can see the magnifying glass as soon as Beret walks onscreen, spoiling the surprise.

I also feel like Telescope Girl (the new superhero coming to a Marvel near you) should react in some way to Beret's arrival, even if only by saying "Glad you could make it" or whatever.

XKCD Isn't Funny - #1493 - Meeting

I feel like this comic is vaguely representational of XKCD as a whole. It's a good, (kind of) original joke that just happens to be presented horribly.

We've got three gags here, in order:
1. Beret is oblivious to the reality that he lost control over a car, potentially endangering hundreds.
2. This is not an actual company, but they get money somehow.
3. A pun on the different meanings of the word "bug".

The best, of course, is the first. Stupidity is always an easy avenue for a larf, and it's nicely left up to the reader's imagination as to how a carpool completely lost control of a car. But then the comic wallows, like an emo kid in self pity or your mom in a swimming pool, sticking around for two far weaker punchlines that are both basically derivative of #1293 (covered by the magnificent Jon Levi here).

Also: huge missed opportunity in having companyname.website just redirect to the XKCD mainpage.

However, this comic is still better than watching Henry Rollins pretend not to be bragging for 20 excruciating minutes. At least with XKCD most given comics are going to be over quickly.