XKCD Isn't Funny - #1352 - COSMOLOGIST ON A TIRE SWING

I have a feeling I'm going to get very angry by the end of this post. Let's address the (many, many, many) problems as they appear.

1. The first panel sets this up in a swamp. For a strip as minimalistic as XKCD, it's rare that we get anything that isn't related to the punchline, so this adds an unnecessary detail for no reason.
2. The first panel has an unusual level of detail. Why isn't it continued in the other panels? or at least in the final panel which is full sized.
3. Why is the cosmologist on a tire swing? Explainxkcd says that it's a metaphor for the "big bounce" theory that I personally adhere to. However, the cosmologist on a tire swing-
3.5. The cosmologist on a tire swing introduces herself as "a cosmologist on a tire swing". That's an awful and clunky way of expositing that the person knows about universe things.
3(cont). -the cosmologist on a tire swing is swinging back and forth as she goes back and forth with her different possibilities about the nature of the universe, so it makes it look like the swing is a metaphor for people going back and forth on this subject, which doesn't really happen. To quote my beloved Dara Ó Briain, "People say 'Science doesn't know everything!' ...Science knows it doesn't know, otherwise it'd stop." One of science's core tennants is admitting when it doesn't know something, and that is not going back and forth on an issue.

Allow me to briefly get out of the sauna of fury to say that I like the panel formatting. -not the way the dialogue or anything is spread out, that sucks more dick than I do on a good Friday night- I like the way the panels are arranged, the two sets of three overlapping panels looks nice. And now that I've said that, back in again.

4. Why does the swing seem to be accelerating? That leads credence to Explainxkcd's explanation, but again, it just adds a layer of detail that wasn't needed and doesn't help the joke.
5. There isn't a joke. I have no idea what the funny part is supposed to be.
6. "Cosmology sounds pretty confusing"/"Wheee!" is stupid. This is supposedly Randy's example of an kind explainy teacher type figure, so to just ignore a child's new disorientation in favor of having fun on her swing -which she's been doing the whole comic- changes up her apparent character into more of a teasing jerk sort of person.
7. How did they not see her coming in the opening panel?

This one was awful. At least with the other recent terrible ones I knew what the awful joke was supposed to be. Reminder: This is Randy's job. This is what he does for a living.

[EDIT:] Thanks to the lovely people in the comment section, I now understand the joke slightly better, so please check out their explanations and ignore some of my previous issues.

[EDIT2:] There's a very insightful comment by one Anon Fakename who claims to be a physicist with cosmological experience. It's really good and you should read it, it makes a lot of points better than I did.